contentment // relationships // lessons learned

I am a very generally discontent person. There is always something better ahead, something I wish I had, or something I am not pleased with. I tend to think too much ahead or too far into the past, without really caring about the present. And let me tell you, a year ago I was miserable with the fact that I was single. You see, I was in my junior year of highschool and it seemed like all of my friends were in seemingly happy, wonderful relationships. Even the freshmen! I was envious, upset with my lack of ability to get a boyfriend. Typing this I’m realizing how petty and dumb I was being…

In any case, I began to pursue dating. But every attempt failed and I just ended up getting more and more hurt in the end. I became increasingly discontent with that and wondering why in the world things didn’t work out. (But looking back, that was a blessing in disguise. It saved me from a lot of more serious hurt and heartache.)

This went on until I realized that I was focusing on the wrong thing. Guys and relationships were totally distracting me from what’s most important – God and my relationship with Him. I began to understand that He wanted me to learn contentment in my life. Until I learned to be content single and without the attention of a guy, I didn’t deserve to be in a relationship. I slowly but surely let God take that part of me and I became content with singleness. I waited.

And waited. And waited so much.

Until I fell in love. I fell head over heels in love.

With life. I became a joy-filled person, absolutely passionate about life and the people within it. I became compassionate in ways I didn’t think I could and I began to see the beauty in everything. I found peace in Him and in this life He has given me.

After I became content, He let a wonderful guy come into my life. The relationship was great while it lasted, but somethings aren’t meant to last forever. I learned a lot about myself and relationships in those six months, and I really believe it happened for a reason. Now I am learning to be content again. It is harder this time, but I am learning to be content in my walk with God until He lets another fellow join us.

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