I want to achieve greatness. I want to impact people and say things that will help them.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to be other people’s savior. No, I believe that in order to really be saved, you must learn to save yourself. It sounds harsh, but it is the honest truth. Relying on other people to save me personally got me no where. It wasn’t until I figured out that I have the strength to fight for my own redemption. That is when I truly was rescued, but by my own will and courage.
I have a friend who believes in me. He would believe until the world ends. He would probably go his grave with the words, “I believe in Erin Estherlyn” on his lips. He refused to be my savior. He was the one who taught me that I needed to find strength in myself, not other people. (Don’t get me wrong though! Now that I’ve found my own courage, I do find love, hope, and encouragement in others. But they’re not the sole reason I am where I am today.) He always knew I would do something great, perhaps even change the world. He laughed at me when I blurted out the jumbled sentences that formed in my head. But laughed in an accepting, ‘i love you for who you are’ sort of way. He never yelled at me when I relapsed or shamed me when I told him about the deep dark demons of the past. Rather he looked at me with hope in his eyes and said, “You’re going to make it. I believe in you, Erin.”
And it is his faith in me that makes me want to achieve great things. It makes me feel like I could conquer the world with love and compassion tomorrow if I set my mind to it. His words makes me want to set the world on fire. (in a good way. It sounded better inmy head, believe me.)
So here I am, running this little blog of sorts. I don’t think of it as a blog anymore, rather as a collection of my “word vomit”, where I spew anything and everything that comes to my mind. I hope to God that one day, the words I write or say or sing will impact someone. I want to be that friend I just told you about to other people, one who inspires others and makes them feel like they could set their own world on fire. I want to live a life of significance. No, I do not ask for fame or fortune or recognition… I just want people to remember me as the girl who set her own world ablaze, leaving nothing and no one the same.
Isn’t it strange how much of an impact one single person can have on you?