you feel your heart beat loudest when it’s breaking

(switchfoot)

Isn’t that true though? It’s very rare that we know how alive we are until the moment that our world is shattered, a dream is crushed, or someone walks away. When the words we most certainly do not want to hear are uttered, we can hear our hearts pound like a drum and our chests feel as if they might explode. 

Why is this? 

I think it’s because heartbreak is sort of like an unwelcome wake up call, shaking us to a harsh and bitter reality. It reminds us that we are human, life is not perfect, things go wrong… yet we’re still alive. It is proof that, yeah… life can be hell. But we are still alive, breathing, and carrying on nonetheless. Even amidst the hardest of trials, the brutalist of breakups, and the most difficult of days… our hearts still beat the steady rhythm of life. 

When heartbreak rears its ugly head in my own life, I often close my eyes, take a deep breath, and listen for the faint beating of my own heart. The more I listen, the louder it grows. And somehow, knowing that I am still alive and well, the heartbreak doesn’t feel so bad. As the bitterness of the hurt and heartache swells in my chest, I like to think of it as my existence making itself unashamedly known.

So often I do not know what to think or how to feel about things, or I get anxious about what’s next. What soothes me is the simple fact that I am here and I am alive for a specific reason. Although I’ve yet to understand or figure out that reason, it comforts me nonetheless. 

Listen to your heart beat for it is the rhythm of your life. What is it trying to tell you?

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2 thoughts on “you feel your heart beat loudest when it’s breaking

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